I love bicycle touring because it gives me the opportunity to meet people who are genuine. The bicycle bridges the wage gap, defeates racial segregation and keep my minds from collapsing. The greatest part of the bicycle is the fact that it allows me to get around so very well. Granted it would take me a week to arrive anywhere scenic, the bicycle is a great mode of transportation.
A bicycle nomad by heart, my wanderlust is insatiable. Without open lands and wonderful people, my life would be especially boring, and quite depressing. I know that I am not of the common folk in my area, I am an anomaly. And uniquely so, I am a force to be reckoned with. Its taken years for me to understand this, and I hope it doesn’t escape me anytime soon. I have a lot to offer, all I need is confidence.
For those years that I was “gone,” lost in my own madness, I developed a fear of all personal relations. The stigma surounding mental illness is that, “this person is to be feared.” They are unstable and will attack if provoked. I accepted this with all certainty and resolved the issue by avoiding everyone I could. For two years I travelled alone, hiking up the trails I came across, and bathing in the rivers I saw. Before my trips I tried to reintegrate into my community. By participating in bicycle rides and local events, I forced myself to fit into their molds. Into social models that were always focused on bravado and power. I gave myself to these constructs, only to be thrown out when I miss interpreted them.
I was always either too friendly, loving or concerned. They didn’t understand my need for acceptance, and most admitly so. I came out of now where, I tried too hard, and I burned them out. But I had bigger plans, my focus was on world wide travel. I had no idea how I was going to achieve it, but I knew it as my only direction. I out grew this town, had I known it sooner. I would have saved myself a year of conflict.
Those who love too much are destined to be taken advantage of, my best example of this would be: “If you offer free money to those who don’t need it, and they will take it all. Present the same amount to those who have none, they will tell you to share it with others.” Open love is a rare, giving into those who need it the most will devour it. Those who have enough will ask you to share. And the few who don’t want it but understand it, will give it all away.
Give until it hurts, how else would you know if you have given enough? For those who give never wish for anything in return.